Chuck norris writes half of the jokes on this site, he likes his fans to be informed. Chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king, and got one. Chuck norris walks into a house it then becomes haunted. We have read all chuck norris jokes on the internet, and below you find the 30 most hilarious jokes about chuck norris and his doings. Chuck norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. These jokes are gathered from a joke search engine and populated into the widget for your enjoyment.
The internet chuck norris database a free and open. I was delighted to find that the official chuck norris fact book includes many of the great stories chuck has told me that i wished others could hear. Chuck norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon. Chuck norris is an american martial artist, actionhero actor and media personality.
Chuck norris doesnt flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it. The official chuck norris fact book, 101 of my favorite facts, with my personal reflections on each. Chuck norris is da man jokes chuck norris joke 1 chuck norris does not sleep. Chuck norris is a martial artist and actor who founded his own school of martial art, chun kuk do. Why couldnt they print chuck norris face onto the toilet paper. Chuck norris can open pdf files with microsoft excel. If you cant see chuck norris, you may be only seconds away from.
When chuck norris does a push up, he doesnt push himself up, he pushes the world down. The official chuck norris fact book tyndale house publishers publishers, inc. Norris is so awesome is that he was just one of the many people in the world who has a black belt in multiple deciplines, i believe and somehow started doing movies and people made up a bunch of awesome jokes about him and thats why hes so epic. Some magicans can walk on water, chuck norris can swim through land. Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took. Enjoy our collection of 303 chuck norris jokes and facts, when alexander graham bell made the first phone call, all he heard on the other end was chuck norriss heavy breathing. Chuck norris jokes really funny clean jokes and humor.
Chuck norris jokes and facts random chuck norris joke fact chuck norris is not scared of bears, bears are scared of chuck norris. Chuck norris was the cannon groups leading star in the 1980s. If chuck norris was a programmer web programmer blog. Today, chuck norris is actively involved in republic politics. Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because only he knows the element of surprise. Said to have begun in 2005 on the somethingawful forums and inspired by latenight television host conan obriens run of walker texas ranger jokes, chuck norris jokes are best. The 50 funniest chuck norris jokes of all time when chuck norris was born, the on ly one who cried was the doctor. Type chuck cat to show a list of all available categories. Top 100 chuck norris facts jokes chosen by our visitors. Chuck norris halloween facts, funny chuck norris facts. Chuck norris turns 75 today, and the internet is celebrating in recent years, a mythology has sprung up around the action icon, with. Harness the unstoppable force that is chuck norris in an action game packed with insane weapons, items and chuck facts. His father, ray norris, was a mechanic, bus driver, and truck driver.
When chuck norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up. Chuck norris jokes best chuck norris jokes, facts, quotes and sayings adams hilarious joke books book 10 kindle edition by roos, adam. If you live to see christmas, that is your christmas present from chuck. Chuck norris was sending an email one day, when he realized that it would be faster to run. Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell chuck norris stories. Carlos ray chuck norris born march 10, 1940 is an american martial artist, actor, film producer and screenwriter. Norris shouldnt be one of em these are some of the most popular chuck norris jokes on the net.
Chuck norris can eat 42 japanese men in 17 seconds. Chuck norris threw a grenade and killed 50 zombies, then it exploded. Chuck norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. It is the second game to be based on chuck norris popularity developed by the chuck norris facts. Start retrieving random chuck norris facts by just typing chuck into your slack console. Chuck norris has to chain his mouse to his desktop. Chuck norris doesnt have disk latency because the hard drive knows to hurry the hell up. Everybody loves a good laugh so why not add some good hilarious chuck norris jokes to karatechop the competition. The player takes control of chuck norris himself in a sidescrolling beat em up. Chuck norris sense of smell is so keen that he attacks sharks when he smells them bleed. Best chuck norris jokes facts browse the full list.
Therefore ive started this online chuck norris jokes database. In 2017, flaregames produced non stop chuck norris, an isometric actionrpg game for mobile devices. For the first time ever, in the official chuck norris fact book, chuck gives readers not only his favorite facts, roundhousekicked by the man himself, but also the stories behind the facts and the code by which chuck lives his life. When an episode of walker texas ranger was aired in france, the french surrendered to chuck norris just to be on the safe side.
The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants. He moved on to play the lead role in the television series walker, texas ranger from 1993 until 2001. Jun 22, 2019 chuck norris has starred in such action films as return of the dragon and missing in action. Chuck norris jokes a selection of the best 30 jokes. Chuck was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts.
He also starred on the hit tv series walker, texas ranger. But there isnt a good repository of these jokes on the web yet. Chuck norris is familiar to fans worldwide as the star of action films such as the hitman 1991, the delta force 1986 and delta force 2. Chuck norris facts are a series of satirical factoids and hyperbolic claims that characterize the american celebrity martial artist and actor as an extremely tough, virile and alphamale archetype. Since its initial appearance on something awful in 2005, the joke has gone viral worldwide and inspired numerous spinoff jokes centered around other celebrities. After serving in the united states air force, norris won many martial arts championships and later founded his own discipline, chun kuk do. Chuck norris facts, and other funnty chuck norris related jokes. Mar 17, 2019 pdf download the official chuck norris fact book.
For those who have somehow not heard of the chuck norris facts, they are mythical expressions of my life and abilities, a collection of sayings, quips, and quotes, created by young and old. Chuck norris appeared in a variety of action films, including way of the dragon in which he starred with bruce lee. Chuck norris did not lose his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice. If you cant see chuck norris, you may be only seconds away from death. Chuck norris can download metallica mp3s using napster. Chuck norris jokes 1 to 10 jokes about chuck norris.
Some little kids like to wear superman costumes until they find out that superman wears a chuck norris costume. Top 10 chuck norris jokes 2016 merry christmas wishes. Chuck norris chuck norris once got sucked into a black hole he escaped try not to laugh challenge. The chuck norris app existed even before slack existed. Download it once and read it on your kindle device, pc, phones or tablets.
Caption your own images or memes with our meme generator. Chuck norris jokes best chuck norris jokes, facts, quotes. And by the transitive property, a roundhouse kick to the face. When chuck norris plays monopoly, it affects the actual world economy. Chuck norris doesnt use web standards as the web will conform to him. Chuck norris has starred in such action films as return of the dragon and missing in action. See top 10 chuck norris jokes from collection of 2497 jokes rated by visitors. Read chuck norris jokes best chuck norris jokes facts quotes and. Chuck norris is one bad dude jokes chuck norris joke 1 before science was invented it was.
Chuck norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head. Chuck norris won american idol using only sign language. Personally, i love chuck norris jokes, cant get enough of them. He also starred in missing in action 1984 and its sequels, firewalker 1986 and sidekicks 19. The official chuck norris fact book tyndale house publishers. Chuck norris programs occupy 150% of cpu, even when they are not executing. Vote for your favorite chuck norris facts jokes with our 5star chuck norris facts jokes rating system. After serving in the united states air force, norris won.
Oct 06, 2009 chuck norris can kick through all 6 degrees of separation, hitting anyone, anywhere, in the face, at any time. Chuck norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. Chuck was a martial arts star, winning many martial arts championships including being a sixtime undefeated world professional middleweight karate champion. Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund. Chuck norris invented binary by performing a roundhouse on the number 10. Chuck norris roundhouse kick jokes a chuck norrisdelivered roundhouse kick is the preferred method of. Strongman and cultural icon chuck norris stars in a fantastic number of oneline jokes on the internet, satirical comments on his portrayal of the ideal martial arts master who never loses a fight or drops a punch. Tornados have sirens to warn them when chuck norris is comming. Chuck norris has an intel cpu on an amd motherboard.
In case you didnt know much about chuck norris, this is for the most part all you need to know. After a night of partying, chuck norris doesnt throw up, he throws down. Fans from every corner of the globe will enjoy both the fanciful and inspirational from one of the world. Top 100 chuck norris jokes top chuck norris joke 1. Chuck norris secretly sleeps with every woman in the world once a month, they bleed for a week because of it. Norris drives optimus prime to work, and there is no way norris can really drive. Use features like bookmarks, note taking and highlighting while reading chuck norris jokes best chuck norris jokes, facts, quotes and sayings adams hilarious. Jan, 2015 really funny chuck norris jokes free pdf ebooks.
Chuck norris doesnt bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint. Sep 04, 20 chuck norris invented binary by performing a roundhouse on the number 10. Chuck norris did not lose his virginity, he stalked it. Chuck norris gave cats nine lives so he could kill them more. Chuck norris is a close friend who i love like a brother and who once put a choke hold on me at my request, which i immediately regretted. It is the second game to be based on chuck norris popularity developed by.
Chuck norris biography childhood, life achievements. Power up chuck norris as he delivers a beating to an infinite horde of villains. Simply by pulling on both ends, chuck norris can stretch diamonds back into coal. Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad did. Chuck norris can light a fire by rubbing two icecubes together. Chuck norris destroyed the periodic table because the only element he knows is the element of surprise. Chuck norris jokes mega collection almost 300 facts chuck norris breathes air. Chuck norris can win a game of trivial pursuit with one roll of the dice, and without answering a single question just a nod of the head, and a stroke of the beard. Of all the people on this world you could tick off, mr. When chuck norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways. Chuck norris once ordered a big mac at burger king, and got one. May 09, 20 chuck norris donates blood to the red cross, just not his own.
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